Results of Self- Refection

Have you ever been confused, bewildered, unsure when it comes job your doing? Have you ever wondered what was it that your boss saw in you before he hired you? have you stood in the center of your office and wondered what are you doing here…. I have!

I have always figured that since I don’t have too many responsibilities in my personal life, I do not need to be ambitious and I just need to earn money by fulfilling my agendas to the best of my ability, working hard, saving harder and travel. It makes the late nights, stress related targets, uncouth vendors, dealing with under-performing colleagues all worthwhile. Suddenly today it’s not enough! Somethings shifted. Is it the planets? Maybe it’s all the self reflecting I have been doing in my break!

I really admire people who stick to the same job for eons. They sail through the honey-moon period, suffer the mid-life crisis in silence and come out victorious as they crossed the loyalty mark in a company. What makes them remain loyal, continuously prove themselves and remain motivated till the end. I had a colleague “Rama” in FabIndia, who had completed her MBA and was working as a “merchandiser” a very fancy title for meeting and greeting customers on the floor level and making sure stocks are filled in the shelves. She was there when I joined and she is still there 5 years later. Same branch, same role, same reporting manager, same chores so whats her motivation? How does she deal with the bumps?

Having been constantly in-between jobs, the process of searching, finding, interviews seem like an unavoidable process and logically it should come naturally to me. One of the most important thing that this entire process requires is Patience. not the perfect resume or your interview etiquette, but waiting for the “perfect” role, waiting for an interview call, waiting in the lobby, waiting for a reply, waiting waiting waiting.. it never ends.

It is the waiting that slowly eats up into your psyche, covers your confidence with questions like “what if”,  and then wham! it you take a decision not based on rational thought, not based on professional “dream” not even based on your required growth, your decision most probably will be based on “what if I don’t get anything else?”

After 8 jobs in 12 years I bought in the new year with a resolution to get serious about my career. I did a lot of reflecting during my 3  break, envisioning my self on where I want to be, the haze seems to be lifting of my foggy vision. I was clear that all the “floating” I did in the last 3 years had to stop. I realized I am as ambitious as the next person and I now needed to focus, needed to gather my energy together and decide on which path to follow, which profile to choose and what goal to focus on. So if I had to wait, I wait!



 Does this mean I will commit to the chosen company? Will i overcome the claustrophobic feeling that I get after  I don’t know, but what I do know is that there is a path I need to follow to get to my vision and I need to make sure the road I choose has to lead there!!




This entry was published on June 5, 2014 at 6:27 am. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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