Searching for me

Nidhi berera, Nidberera, langkawi, eagles soar,

Soaring

Me, being an only child, I always thought I was a loner. I learnt to accept my own company and to play and chat with the invisible people around me. The invisible members have kept me company interacting with my thoughts, helped me make decisions and kept me sane when things were confusing and stressful.

Over the years of school, college and work, I have leant on friends. Friendships in my life acted as life support not just when things were rocky but they were there (and I made sure they were there) when I wanted the laugh, when I wanted to cry and when I just wanted to talk – which was all the time!

This was also the time when I learnt the importance of family. Uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, all of them who have surrounded me and made thier presence felt constantly. Memories of summer vacations spent with family will never go away (unless of course I get dementia). The laughter, the fights, the ganging up, the joy of being the youngest, the joy of being the oldest, the ego, understanding the family dynamics is all part of who I am. Today, a friend ask me what makes me happy? This is such a simple yet overstated question. A question that has so much weight, that you need to think and ponder before you answer.

I told her and I believe it is true when I told her that:

simple things make me happy,

achieving things make me happy,

being surrounded by laughter makes me happy,

meeting friends make me happy

…and it suddenly hit me that though I love my solitude and I though I love my space to recharge and re-energise, I crave to be surrounded by people who have the ability to share thier love and offer thier company, however short the time.

This was a new learning for me. I always thought I was meant to be a loner and learned to like my company but now I know for a fact that though I can handle my company, I prefer being surrounded by better company.

I end this month’s blog with a quote from a book that captured my heart:

“Life is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers—partnerless, tired, awake.”

,Original Excerpt From: “The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories” by Marina Keegan.

Nidhi berera photography, nidhiberera, nidberera, sea side, beach patterns, foot prints, Malaysia,

Capture me!

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This entry was published on February 12, 2017 at 5:28 pm. It’s filed under Life's Rants and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Searching for me

  1. Anonymous on said:

    Lovely Nidhi

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